I still have hope because you never said you didn’t love me anymore. You just said you were happy without me but not that you didn’t love me. And I think it’s bullshit for someone to love someone else and not forgive them for something that they clearly regret doing. You want me back but you’re afraid of getting hurt and that’s okay. It’s okay to be afraid. I was afraid too. I didn’t take you back once because I didn’t like how you treated me and I know you’re trying to give it back to me. You said I told you I didn’t love you anymore but I know that’s not what I said. Because I would have never said that to you. Because I do love you and even if I ever felt that I didn’t anymore, somewhere deep down I’d still care for you and I would never say something that would hurt you. Do you know how hard it was for me to even say I have a small crush on someone else? And then I wouldn’t even let that person get near having an actual relationship with me because she wasn’t you. And I missed you. I tried for so long to pretend I didn’t miss you and I dealt with my sadness as I saw fit. And I know it didn’t seem like I was sad to you but I was and I am. I always have been. I just became really good at hiding it. I shouldn’t have rejected you when you tried to get me back. All I ask is that you think very hard about your decision before you make it.
I feel so sick to my stomach oh my god
She was perfect to me and she was mine. How could I give her up?